The Humpty Dumpty Gospel

humpty dumpty sat on a wall image gospelAnd now for a reading from the Humpty Dumpty Gospel:

HD 1:1   And you, who deny the great Humpty, (or as his friends call him “The Big Hump”) shall surely perish in the fryers of hell.

HD 1:2   But ye who keep the sunny side up will know everlasting satisfaction that is only possible through The Great Hump.

HD 1:3   Born of a virgin, The Great Mother Goose, he was thus goosed into existence.

HD 1:4   For The Big Hump and the father, he who is known as The Great Cock, are one, which made for a very confused Mother Goose who was more than a bit embarrassed by the implication of a son and a lover who were the same.

HD 1:5   And he who rules the barnyard said “Thou shall ignore all embarrassing dichotomies and handle them the way all religions do…ignore them,” and so saith The Big Cock.

I hope you enjoyed this reading. My new religion is Humptyism and the movement shall begin when I complete the Gospel. And, of course, the writing of the Gospel shall be attributed to one of the king’s men.

JH Chrestos runs the website


  1. LMAO!
    This is great! Can I start my own church, and how and where do I become an ordained minister of Humptyism? 😆

    1. At the great Dumpty of course……

  2. You crack me up!
    I love Humptyism! The humor and wit is refreshing! Where can we read more?

  3. lovely website Chrestos…..good work ….PAL

  4. lovely website Chrestos…..good work ….PAL…here’s mine

  5. OM”G” how obvious some things are 🙂
    Thank you!!

    Break on through to the other side!

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