Freethought Nation

The Humpty Dumpty Gospel

• JH Chrestos
• April 16, 2010December 9, 2018
• 6

And now for a reading from the Humpty Dumpty Gospel:

HD 1:1   And you, who deny the great Humpty, (or as his friends call him “The Big Hump”) shall surely perish in the fryers of hell.

HD 1:2   But ye who keep the sunny side up will know everlasting satisfaction that is only possible through The Great Hump.

HD 1:3   Born of a virgin, The Great Mother Goose, he was thus goosed into existence.

HD 1:4   For The Big Hump and the father, he who is known as The Great Cock, are one, which made for a very confused Mother Goose who was more than a bit embarrassed by the implication of a son and a lover who were the same.

HD 1:5   And he who rules the barnyard said “Thou shall ignore all embarrassing dichotomies and handle them the way all religions do…ignore them,” and so saith The Big Cock.

I hope you enjoyed this reading. My new religion is Humptyism and the movement shall begin when I complete the Gospel. And, of course, the writing of the Gospel shall be attributed to one of the king’s men.

JH Chrestos runs the website ChristPlagiarized.com.