God needs your money!

god gold money needsAs we suspected: The omnipotent Lord has a very bad cavity and is in need of all the world’s gold to fill it. But seriously, folks, for years now there has been a new “Gospel of Prosperity” preached at many churches via various televangelists who – surprise, surprise! – need your money in order to operate. Ironically using witchcraft and preaching karma, these organizations claim that if you give them money, your “investment” will be miraculousy returned to you tenfold or some other such magical return God has up his sleeve. Naturally, many millions have given from their heart and received little in return but a poorer bank account.

It is also not surprising, therefore, that some rich bigwig – the head of Barclay’s Bank – would claim that the Bible is not only prophetic but also profitable. “Jesus loves a profit,” but does he consider where much of it is coming from, i.e., people who can hardly afford it? Why doesn’t the all-powerful three-headed Christian god simply snap his numerous fingers and fill all the righteous coffers with moola, rather than having poor people do hard manual labor in order to make the banksters happy?

Bible-thumping bankers say Jesus loves a profit

Two London bankers have now turned to the church to defend the banking system, its profits and the bonuses paid to senior executives. Perhaps they fear a turn to the rock-solid (if less wildly profitable) imperturbability of Islamic banking. Or, more likely, the wrath of the British public by way of their government. Or, even more likely, the damage some see being done by their own colleagues who are calling for a moral reawakening.

If two make a trend, then the trend is now for bankers to invoke Christianity in defence of their business practices.

“Profit is not satanic,” the chief executive of Barclays, John Varley, told the congregation of London’s famous St Martin-in-the-Fields Church on Wednesday. He later expanded on the topic to Bloomberg, pushing the point that “fair reward” is compatible with Christianity….

Profit is not satanic, says Barclays boss

In an extraordinary address, Barclays chief executive John Varley said banks are the ‘backbone’ of the economy and paying out bonuses is compatible with Christianity.

The remarks from Mr Varley, who was paid £1.1 million in 2008, came in an address at London’s St Martin-in-the-Fields.

They will be interpreted as a rebuff to Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams, who said in September that financers have displayed no ‘repentance’ and there is a sense of ‘muted anger’ at the bonus culture….


  1. God Needs My Money

    God and the Government seems to need my money! The Government takes…so no choice there, that is, without jail time. :confused:
    However…the churches can beg…lay silly-ass claims….make promises….but they won’t get a damn penny from me! 🙂

  2. Take No Usury
    The Bible says to take no usury.

    The Banking system survives on usury.

    1. Actually, no, the Bible does not say there should be no usury at all. It says that Jews can charge usury to non-Jews but not to their fellow Jews.

      [quote]”You shall not lend upon interest to your brother, interest on money, interest on victuals, interest on anything that is lent for interest. To a foreigner you may lend upon interest, but to your brother you shall not lend upon interest…” –Deuteronomy 23:19-20) [/quote]

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