The Humpty Dumpty Gospel

humpty dumpty sat on a wall image gospelAnd now for a reading from the Humpty Dumpty Gospel:

HD 1:1   And you, who deny the great Humpty, (or as his friends call him “The Big Hump”) shall surely perish in the fryers of hell.

HD 1:2   But ye who keep the sunny side up will know everlasting satisfaction that is only possible through The Great Hump.

HD 1:3   Born of a virgin, The Great Mother Goose, he was thus goosed into existence.

HD 1:4   For The Big Hump and the father, he who is known as The Great Cock, are one, which made for a very confused Mother Goose who was more than a bit embarrassed by the implication of a son and a lover who were the same.

HD 1:5   And he who rules the barnyard said “Thou shall ignore all embarrassing dichotomies and handle them the way all religions do…ignore them,” and so saith The Big Cock.

I hope you enjoyed this reading. My new religion is Humptyism and the movement shall begin when I complete the Gospel. And, of course, the writing of the Gospel shall be attributed to one of the king’s men.

JH Chrestos runs the website ChristPlagiarized.com.

6 Comments

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  1. LMAO!
    This is great! Can I start my own church, and how and where do I become an ordained minister of Humptyism? 😆

    1. At the great Dumpty of course……
      See…..no…
      👿

  2. You crack me up!
    I love Humptyism! The humor and wit is refreshing! Where can we read more?

  3. lovely website Chrestos…..good work ….PAL

  4. lovely website Chrestos…..good work ….PAL…here’s mine

    http://www.freewebs.com/chuekmanacular/index.htm

  5. OM”G” how obvious some things are 🙂
    Thank you!!

    Break on through to the other side!

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